Starlight Ponderings

I've been thinking a lot lately, which is a habit some would say I should quit. I would disagree, but that is neither here, nor there. What is at hand this what's been on my mind. Namely, my future and where I should be in the next several years. Truth be told, I am not completely sure. I have been pondering my life and asking questions that I didn't think I would ask. Namely, "Where am I going?"

I know I've been called to teach. However, teaching is a complicated thing. Ever since I set out of my goal to obtain a teaching degree, the same question kept rearing its head, "Why not teach at the collegiate level?" Is it because I am too lazy? Is it because I do not desire this? Is it because God isn't calling me there? Truth be told, I cannot answer this. Why shouldn't I get my doctorate? Yes, yes, this is several years down the line, but why should I stop at a master's degree in English? Teaching, yes, is in my future. However, education is a complex thing. There are many levels at which one could teach, and many ways to teach.

I've thought about it for years and one of my truest and deepest desires is to write professionally. Now I am aware that my craft requires some refining, yet the want is deeply embedded within myself. Furthermore, my writing is something many have encouraged. I've always been astute when it came to matters of the written word. I was and am still leaps and bounds ahead of many of my peers in both reading and writing (of course this is only by the Grace of, I am aware). Why is it that I cannot teach by writing? Is that not what C.S. Lewis set out to do with his essays?

The point I am making here is why should I stop with high school? Honestly, it wasn't like high school was my only choice. I personally chose to stop at the high school level. There is nothing to stop me from getting my doctorate unless this is outside God's Will for my life. Of course, if it is outside His Will, I do not want to be there, but lately I've grown restless.

This, alas, is not the only thing on my mind. The other night, while conversing with a now trice mentioned friend, the question was posed, "Where would you want to live?" I've thought about this for years. I want it clear before I say anything more, that I do love America. It is a fine country in its own right. However, I grow weary of living on its soil. I've always had this dream of living in Europe. Either on the British isle, or near it. I always love watching movies filmed in that part of the world because I love seeing it. When I meet people with British, Irish, and even Scottish accents, part of me wishes I had the same said accent. I can do a mean impression of each.

This, unfortunately, is a far off dream. If I ever get my doctorate in English, it would be a possibility to teach out there. If I ever become a writer, I could move out there. Yet, these are if. Be it God's Will or let it never be. That is all I have to say of the matter.

Now, some (all one of you who read this blog) might be wondering why I changed the layout of the blog. It is simple, I used the old layout for my newest blog, Starlight Ponderings. I decided that since I had a more serious blog for posting Biblical and Christian essays, and this one is becoming a rant blog, I might as well have one for my more literary aspirations. So this new blog will have samples of my poetry and my short stories. It seemed only fitting to me.