What you are about to read is a work of fiction. That is, however, excepting the places where it is not fiction. At those places, it is rather not at all a work of fiction and calling it such would be quite odd indeed. Yet, I will allow you, my dear reader, to determine for yourself where I have opted to let the truth appear.
In the beginning...
God created Man and Woman alike. But I'm sure that's not the right beginning. That's more like the beginning of the beginning, which is far too much of a beginning for this tale, so maybe we should fast forward a bit...
In the beginning, of my reading career that is, I started reading books "too advanced" for my age. (I told you, some of it's fiction, some of it's not, you decide.) I was enthralled how the words on the page played together to make a story. I found myself glued to books, craving more and more of these tomes. Soon, I was reading ahead in all my classes, nothing could sate my appetite for books. I was a reading machine. I won more of those little Personal Pan Pizzas from Pizza Hut than anyone in my whole school because I read constantly. Yet my teachers had yet to really rock my world.
We had been learning to write sentences, simple and "complex." My class felt so proud was we mastered all the sentences our teacher could throw at us. Then we got the curve ball. No, there was no baseball in class, and even if she wanted to, our teacher didn't throw anything at us, but told us to write our own stories. A collective groan was heard throughout the class. Everyone thought it would be too hard to write our own stories, for we had been copying sentences to that point. Well, all this is true, except one child whose eyes got so big, they looked like they were going to pop right out of his little skull. He uttered some words that I'm 100% sure the teacher had never heard before, at least in this order, "You can do that!?"
What was to follow came Nathan, the Story Weaver Extraordinaire. People came from all around to hear me tell tales of mystery, dragons, heroes, and puppies. Not normally in that order, and not always did these stories come with the aforementioned things. It was shocking, it was wonderful. It was all trash.
Rubbish, every little bit of tale weaving I did was laughable at best. It was well in my interest to just quit while I was behind and never look back. And that's exactly what I did. (If you believe that, you haven't been paying attention.)
I became a liar with a knack for getting out of trouble. Few were the people who could catch me in a lie, mainly because I lied constantly. It was like second nature to me. Tell a lie, have people think highly of you, and you have it made. In a sense, I was still weaving my stories that I had loved to tell, just with a lot less effort and an even smaller amount of imagination. I was a out-and-out liar who only used his storytelling powers for evil and self gain. I wasn't aware that with great power comes awesome opportunities to totally express yourself dude! (I apologize for that reference train wreck that 99% of the people who read this won't get.)
I was once asked during a time in my life where I was going nowhere fast, "What are you passionate about?" And, because I apparently like to hit the mute button on life's bigger lessons, I've been asked several more times that exact same question. The question isn't how do I let myself get caught up in the passion of the moment, nor is it what passions others feel I should have. I'm about to lay it thick like peanut butter here, "What are you passionate about?" What makes feel like you were meant to do it? What is it that you do that if you don't do it, it feels like someone took a bite out of you like Scruff McGruff used to take a bite out of crime. (Seriously, does that crazy cartoon police detective dog even still exist? Or did I just totally date myself with that reference? I think it's time for a gritty reboot.)
I was, at some point, I forget which, reminded of that passion for writing/story-telling/being all "expressive." I get encouraged to write and I often try, but then I get discouraged again and I'm pretty sure most of the people who I talk to about my writing want to smack me upside the head and tell me in a gentle, but a smack upside the head way, just write!
Of course then I whine that it's no so easy, maybe even complain how I haven't made a living as a writer yet (if I can even actually get the guts to try to freelance). It's rarely an issue of lack of inspiration. I get inspired by nearly fifty things daily. You want to know the truth? Okay, lean in close and I'll tell you. Closer... A little closer... Wow, do you look silly with your face so close to the screen. That's bad for the eyes you know. See, free medical advice, right there. You can thank me by donation or cookies. I really like cookies.
Oh, right, as I was saying, I get lazy. I get discouraged. I get "lacouraged." (One day I will invent a word and be all relevant and hip for like a full five seconds, after which I will be repeatedly accused of copying the word from someone else.) To be honest, I am a bit scared. Writing is this whole big world and I may never break into it. Or one day I'll be a smash hit and break the writing world's face or something. I'm sure it will all be very painful with all the smashing and breaking going on.
What I am saying is that I need to be a bit better at actually doing the things I know I want to do with my life. I have no idea if I have the slightly bit of talent at all. For all I know, I'm a hack writer with a goatee and a love of cheese. (I do love cheese...) I could do better at a lot of things and it's easy to just look at my faults any get discouraged. But, honestly, I don't think that is what God wants for us. I don't have some super classy Bible verse to back me up on this, but I think God wants us to realize, "Hey, I'm not perfect, and I have tons of room to grow, but God is in control and He made me, so He completely understands where I'm coming from and put these passions into me for a reason." What I'm saying is, what are you passionate about? Have you let the world twist it into an ugly reflection of what God has for you like I did when I would tell so many lies? Or are you taking your God given passions and talents and turning them into something greater?
I am writing more, and I've started really, for the first time in my life, to experiment with my writing style and methods. For the longest time I was on auto-pilot, just letting my writing do it's own thing. I acted like it was a force in itself. Guess what, dear reader, it isn't a force in itself, but a part of who I am. Just like that think this post has reminded you of is a part of you.
I honestly don't know how this post came to this. I found part of this that i had started on before and I realized, I still had a lot to write on it. See, there I am, writing. I'll be writing until the day I die, and maybe, just maybe, God will bless me with something more than a few blogs and some notebooks with my writings peppered within. I don't know, but I never will if I never try. God will never lead me astray, but I can go astray full well on my own.
Heavy, huh? You started this and thought it would be all kicks and giggles and a good time. So did I, but then I had to be honest. Well, on a lighter note, I'll still tell stories about mysteries, dragons, heroes, and puppies, even if not in that order. Because I have a creative God with a sense of humor. I know this is true because He created me and you, and everything in between and beyond, and because at age 22 I'm still tripping over things that aren't there.
