I've been thinking a lot lately, which is a habit some would say I should quit. I would disagree, but that is neither here, nor there. What is at hand this what's been on my mind. Namely, my future and where I should be in the next several years. Truth be told, I am not completely sure. I have been pondering my life and asking questions that I didn't think I would ask. Namely, "Where am I going?"
I know I've been called to teach. However, teaching is a complicated thing. Ever since I set out of my goal to obtain a teaching degree, the same question kept rearing its head, "Why not teach at the collegiate level?" Is it because I am too lazy? Is it because I do not desire this? Is it because God isn't calling me there? Truth be told, I cannot answer this. Why shouldn't I get my doctorate? Yes, yes, this is several years down the line, but why should I stop at a master's degree in English? Teaching, yes, is in my future. However, education is a complex thing. There are many levels at which one could teach, and many ways to teach.
I've thought about it for years and one of my truest and deepest desires is to write professionally. Now I am aware that my craft requires some refining, yet the want is deeply embedded within myself. Furthermore, my writing is something many have encouraged. I've always been astute when it came to matters of the written word. I was and am still leaps and bounds ahead of many of my peers in both reading and writing (of course this is only by the Grace of, I am aware). Why is it that I cannot teach by writing? Is that not what C.S. Lewis set out to do with his essays?
The point I am making here is why should I stop with high school? Honestly, it wasn't like high school was my only choice. I personally chose to stop at the high school level. There is nothing to stop me from getting my doctorate unless this is outside God's Will for my life. Of course, if it is outside His Will, I do not want to be there, but lately I've grown restless.
This, alas, is not the only thing on my mind. The other night, while conversing with a now trice mentioned friend, the question was posed, "Where would you want to live?" I've thought about this for years. I want it clear before I say anything more, that I do love America. It is a fine country in its own right. However, I grow weary of living on its soil. I've always had this dream of living in Europe. Either on the British isle, or near it. I always love watching movies filmed in that part of the world because I love seeing it. When I meet people with British, Irish, and even Scottish accents, part of me wishes I had the same said accent. I can do a mean impression of each.
This, unfortunately, is a far off dream. If I ever get my doctorate in English, it would be a possibility to teach out there. If I ever become a writer, I could move out there. Yet, these are if. Be it God's Will or let it never be. That is all I have to say of the matter.
Now, some (all one of you who read this blog) might be wondering why I changed the layout of the blog. It is simple, I used the old layout for my newest blog, Starlight Ponderings. I decided that since I had a more serious blog for posting Biblical and Christian essays, and this one is becoming a rant blog, I might as well have one for my more literary aspirations. So this new blog will have samples of my poetry and my short stories. It seemed only fitting to me.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Misadventures in Car Owning: A Reflection
It was late Thursday night. Midnight was fast approaching and I was tried for the day. I had just gotten off work and felt the deep desire for sleep. However, I still needed to drive home. So, I hop into my car and start it up. As I pull out from my carefully selected parking space, I notice that the wheel will not turn without my muscling it around. My power steering had failed.
I force my car back into a parking spot and hope for the best. I quickly pop the hood and check my engine. Mind you, it's very dark out and I can see nothing. Seeing nothing (what little I could) wrong with the car, I check my power steering fluid. (Yes, there it a fluid that allows you to easily turn the wheel while driving.) It seemed low, so I had a co-worker drive me to Wal-Mart to get some more. After filling the reservoir, I find that I still do not have power steering. I even try to drive around to let it refill. This does not work.
The next day, my dad gets back to me. He thinks it's the pump (there's a pump involved as well). So he tells me he'll fix it when he get back from Florida. I thought I was set. That is I thought I was set all the way until my car died on my way back to Warrensburg. Fortunately for me, I broke down right next to the Missouri Highway Patrol, Troop A Headquarters. Their mechanic came and helped me with my car. We found that my serpentine belt (or drive belt, as some call it) had been chewed completely up. Okay, I got a new one. Not okay, this is when I discover my real and true problem, my tensioner is broken.
Let me explain for the less car inclined. The serpentine belt is responsible for a lot of things in a car. It spins your alternator (which keeps your battery charged), powers your A/C, and works your power steering pump along with a few other parts of the car. Without this part, your battery will quickly run down and your car will die. The tensioner is also important because it keeps the correct tension on the serpentine belt and helps it turn. Mine was cracked and broken, which is why my belt was chewed up.
Now, I am stuck in Warrensburg for the weekend. After Memorial Day (this coming Monday), places will be open for business again. Seeing as I had my car towed to the Lee Summit High School nearby the place it broke down, it will sit there until I get a replacement tensioner. I cannot replace this part until Tuesday because nowhere is open to buy one. I figure my best bet is to go to "U Wrench It," pull one off another car, then replace my tensioner, put the belt on, run the battery to Wal-Mart and replace it. After that, my car should be in working order once again.
I am thankful to God for my car (now named Bianca by a friend). It has been a bit of a pain, but I have learned a lot about cars and about car places from this whole thing. I am also reminded how hard work really pays off.
I force my car back into a parking spot and hope for the best. I quickly pop the hood and check my engine. Mind you, it's very dark out and I can see nothing. Seeing nothing (what little I could) wrong with the car, I check my power steering fluid. (Yes, there it a fluid that allows you to easily turn the wheel while driving.) It seemed low, so I had a co-worker drive me to Wal-Mart to get some more. After filling the reservoir, I find that I still do not have power steering. I even try to drive around to let it refill. This does not work.
The next day, my dad gets back to me. He thinks it's the pump (there's a pump involved as well). So he tells me he'll fix it when he get back from Florida. I thought I was set. That is I thought I was set all the way until my car died on my way back to Warrensburg. Fortunately for me, I broke down right next to the Missouri Highway Patrol, Troop A Headquarters. Their mechanic came and helped me with my car. We found that my serpentine belt (or drive belt, as some call it) had been chewed completely up. Okay, I got a new one. Not okay, this is when I discover my real and true problem, my tensioner is broken.
Let me explain for the less car inclined. The serpentine belt is responsible for a lot of things in a car. It spins your alternator (which keeps your battery charged), powers your A/C, and works your power steering pump along with a few other parts of the car. Without this part, your battery will quickly run down and your car will die. The tensioner is also important because it keeps the correct tension on the serpentine belt and helps it turn. Mine was cracked and broken, which is why my belt was chewed up.
Now, I am stuck in Warrensburg for the weekend. After Memorial Day (this coming Monday), places will be open for business again. Seeing as I had my car towed to the Lee Summit High School nearby the place it broke down, it will sit there until I get a replacement tensioner. I cannot replace this part until Tuesday because nowhere is open to buy one. I figure my best bet is to go to "U Wrench It," pull one off another car, then replace my tensioner, put the belt on, run the battery to Wal-Mart and replace it. After that, my car should be in working order once again.
I am thankful to God for my car (now named Bianca by a friend). It has been a bit of a pain, but I have learned a lot about cars and about car places from this whole thing. I am also reminded how hard work really pays off.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Maria Sue Chapman, In Memoriam
Well, I'm sure by now everyone's heard the news. I heard it while driving from Lexington to Warrensburg. Maria Sue Chapman died Wednesday night when her older brother pulled into the Chapman driveway in an SUV and did not see young Maria. I know very little of Steven Curtis Chapman's music, but I know enough to know the man has a Heart for God. When I heard the news on K-Love. I grieved for the Chapmans, though I cannot imagine what they are going through. My prayers go out to the family in their time of grief.
Amazingly enough, even in the face of this heartbreaking event, the Chapmans have asked for people to do something with their sadness. They ask, instead of sending roses, for people to send donations to their orphan assistance organization, Shaohannah's Hope. They goal of Shaohannah's Hope is to help reach orphan's for Christ and provide assistance to them with adoption and sponsoring.
I hope that if I am ever faced with such a situation that I can face it with this kind of hope. I cannot imagine, like I said, what the Chapmans are going through, but I hope they know God is still there and is listening.
I ask that when any one who reads this prays, they would remember the Chapmans.
Amazingly enough, even in the face of this heartbreaking event, the Chapmans have asked for people to do something with their sadness. They ask, instead of sending roses, for people to send donations to their orphan assistance organization, Shaohannah's Hope. They goal of Shaohannah's Hope is to help reach orphan's for Christ and provide assistance to them with adoption and sponsoring.
I hope that if I am ever faced with such a situation that I can face it with this kind of hope. I cannot imagine, like I said, what the Chapmans are going through, but I hope they know God is still there and is listening.
I ask that when any one who reads this prays, they would remember the Chapmans.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Misadventures in Car Legalizing
Recently, I was fortunate enough to find a car within my price range. This came as a blessing, because I will be needed a car to travel to the schools I will observe at and the one at which I will complete my student teaching. However, I had no idea of knowing that this would be a larger hassle than I originally planned.
I bought the car last Friday and hoped I could be on the road shortly after. That plan, however, proved to be harder than expected. When I tried to start my car the next morning (Saturday), the battery was dead. Yes, dead. I could not start it for the life of me. So my dad had to come out and test the battery, just to make sure. You see, the guy who owned my car before me had rigged up some switches for the A/C and the cooling fan, so we worried it was those switches. That's when we discovered I had a 3 year guarantee from Wal-Mart. So we got the battery replaced. Albeit too late to do anything like getting an inspection that day.
Monday rolls around, and I plan to get an early start on my car. So I take my car to the local Firestone to get an inspection. Which the car fails. However, I would later find that some of the things "wrong" with the car are not actually wrong, or they weren't when I took the car in. For instance, a bolt was broken off the front right wheel. The break was rather fresh...
So I took it to the place that sold it to me and they fixed it, for free. He even fixed the problem I had with the cooling fan switch. It turns out there are still people who keep their word. Since the owner of the shop promised it would work fine, he said he would take care of it. Thus, it was taken care of.
Wednesday rolls around, and my car is ready to be inspected again. This is when I find out that the left break light was missed when things were being fixed. No problem, I just took it back an it was done. So, I hope on I-70 and head to Odessa to get my insurance taken care of. At least that was the idea when I find I'm headed in the opposite direction! Lesson in this, it's a pain to get back onto the highway you just got off of if you want to turn around.
On my way to Odessa, I am reminded that many people are crazy behind the wheel. I was passing an entrance ramp. At the time I had a SUV on my left, a full-size car in front of me, and another SUV behind me. A car decided to get onto the highway. No problem, that's what we do when we drive. However, he tried to merge while I could not get out of his way! He didn't seem to notice I was there at all! Fortunately, just enough space for my little Chevy Cavalier to slip through. (Thank You GOD! If I didn't have You in my Life, I don't know what I'd do.)
I make it safe and sound to Odessa. I get my insurance with no problem and get directions to Lexington where I am getting my tags. I make it to Lexington, 15 minutes too late to make it to the licensing beau. So I have to make my way back to Independence and get up early to get my tags before I work.
I bought the car last Friday and hoped I could be on the road shortly after. That plan, however, proved to be harder than expected. When I tried to start my car the next morning (Saturday), the battery was dead. Yes, dead. I could not start it for the life of me. So my dad had to come out and test the battery, just to make sure. You see, the guy who owned my car before me had rigged up some switches for the A/C and the cooling fan, so we worried it was those switches. That's when we discovered I had a 3 year guarantee from Wal-Mart. So we got the battery replaced. Albeit too late to do anything like getting an inspection that day.
Monday rolls around, and I plan to get an early start on my car. So I take my car to the local Firestone to get an inspection. Which the car fails. However, I would later find that some of the things "wrong" with the car are not actually wrong, or they weren't when I took the car in. For instance, a bolt was broken off the front right wheel. The break was rather fresh...
So I took it to the place that sold it to me and they fixed it, for free. He even fixed the problem I had with the cooling fan switch. It turns out there are still people who keep their word. Since the owner of the shop promised it would work fine, he said he would take care of it. Thus, it was taken care of.
Wednesday rolls around, and my car is ready to be inspected again. This is when I find out that the left break light was missed when things were being fixed. No problem, I just took it back an it was done. So, I hope on I-70 and head to Odessa to get my insurance taken care of. At least that was the idea when I find I'm headed in the opposite direction! Lesson in this, it's a pain to get back onto the highway you just got off of if you want to turn around.
On my way to Odessa, I am reminded that many people are crazy behind the wheel. I was passing an entrance ramp. At the time I had a SUV on my left, a full-size car in front of me, and another SUV behind me. A car decided to get onto the highway. No problem, that's what we do when we drive. However, he tried to merge while I could not get out of his way! He didn't seem to notice I was there at all! Fortunately, just enough space for my little Chevy Cavalier to slip through. (Thank You GOD! If I didn't have You in my Life, I don't know what I'd do.)
I make it safe and sound to Odessa. I get my insurance with no problem and get directions to Lexington where I am getting my tags. I make it to Lexington, 15 minutes too late to make it to the licensing beau. So I have to make my way back to Independence and get up early to get my tags before I work.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Moderate to Moderate Moderation
Transportation is very important for every American. Especially if that American plans on working. This is even more true if that American does not live close to his/her place of employment.
If you can't tell already (and you should be able to), I'm talking about myself. I had a vehicle once, a van. I made a mistake with that van and totaled it. It was an unfortunate mistake. Yet I have a God Who is always looking out for me. In my search for a vehicle to replace my van, I have come closer to my dad, and have rebuilt a broken relationship. I have found a chance to reach my dad while God is reaching him. He found me a Chevy Cavalier and everything that needs to be fixed on it is being fixed. My dad said "something" just told him to go look down this road for a car for me. I think I know Who that "Something" is.
I'm very excited about this car. It's around a '97, we're not exactly sure because we don't have the title just yet, and runs very well. All the major repair work that happens to Cavaliers at this stage is being completed for me and everything works in it. The best part is that the car is Bluebook valued at closer to $3,000 and we're buying it for $1,200. Not because it's that bad of a car, but because it was sold to the person selling it for cheap. I know that I couldn't have done this any better. I know that God's looking out for me.
Now on to the other reason I'm posting, to rant. Yes, rant. I'm actually surprised I don't have more rants posted yet, but it will happen; I'm pretty famous (locally maybe?) for my rants. Any way, on to the ranting.
Do you know any one is just dives into something head first without too much thought? I mean the ones who just really jump in there and throw caution completely to the wind? I know a few of those people; I am technically one of them. "Technically?" you ask? Yes, technically.
I don't simply jump into everything. I think a lot about many things before I do anything. Where I trip up is relationships. No, no, not dating, mind you. I'm not one of those people. You know the ones, right? Who define themselves by who they're dating? Well, rest assured, that is not me. However, I have rushed into situations of potential dating capacity.
My point is, I don't understand brashness with situations! I mean, seriously! Why do people just jump into everything? I see people get hurt more than anything else when they just dive right in. Don't get me wrong, I dive into things as well, but there is a thought process and I'm quick about it.
A friend of mine recently said to me, "Oh, you know me, I just jump into things without thinking about it." Why!? I mean, it hasn't help this person out so far, yet it continues! I always thought that if something isn't working out, you have to change. If it doesn't work, it's wrong. Yet, even though simply diving in has not yielded favorable results, people continue with it!
Don't get me wrong, I've been there. I've rushed into things before. It has never worked out for me, nor has it worked for any one I know. Yet I see people continue to do it.
What I'm trying to say is, THINK!!!! God gave us brains for a reason. I don't think it's wise of us to just throw that all away. I can't understand why we just take our thoughts and say, "Hey, I don't need these, they just keep me from doing the really stupid things in life." I want to scream at people sometimes. I'm not kidding. We have become very stupid creatures as the sin nature runs rampant in our society. We do things in a way that constantly gets us hurt, yet we still do it. I don't think I'll ever understand.
If you can't tell already (and you should be able to), I'm talking about myself. I had a vehicle once, a van. I made a mistake with that van and totaled it. It was an unfortunate mistake. Yet I have a God Who is always looking out for me. In my search for a vehicle to replace my van, I have come closer to my dad, and have rebuilt a broken relationship. I have found a chance to reach my dad while God is reaching him. He found me a Chevy Cavalier and everything that needs to be fixed on it is being fixed. My dad said "something" just told him to go look down this road for a car for me. I think I know Who that "Something" is.
I'm very excited about this car. It's around a '97, we're not exactly sure because we don't have the title just yet, and runs very well. All the major repair work that happens to Cavaliers at this stage is being completed for me and everything works in it. The best part is that the car is Bluebook valued at closer to $3,000 and we're buying it for $1,200. Not because it's that bad of a car, but because it was sold to the person selling it for cheap. I know that I couldn't have done this any better. I know that God's looking out for me.
Now on to the other reason I'm posting, to rant. Yes, rant. I'm actually surprised I don't have more rants posted yet, but it will happen; I'm pretty famous (locally maybe?) for my rants. Any way, on to the ranting.
Do you know any one is just dives into something head first without too much thought? I mean the ones who just really jump in there and throw caution completely to the wind? I know a few of those people; I am technically one of them. "Technically?" you ask? Yes, technically.
I don't simply jump into everything. I think a lot about many things before I do anything. Where I trip up is relationships. No, no, not dating, mind you. I'm not one of those people. You know the ones, right? Who define themselves by who they're dating? Well, rest assured, that is not me. However, I have rushed into situations of potential dating capacity.
My point is, I don't understand brashness with situations! I mean, seriously! Why do people just jump into everything? I see people get hurt more than anything else when they just dive right in. Don't get me wrong, I dive into things as well, but there is a thought process and I'm quick about it.
A friend of mine recently said to me, "Oh, you know me, I just jump into things without thinking about it." Why!? I mean, it hasn't help this person out so far, yet it continues! I always thought that if something isn't working out, you have to change. If it doesn't work, it's wrong. Yet, even though simply diving in has not yielded favorable results, people continue with it!
Don't get me wrong, I've been there. I've rushed into things before. It has never worked out for me, nor has it worked for any one I know. Yet I see people continue to do it.
What I'm trying to say is, THINK!!!! God gave us brains for a reason. I don't think it's wise of us to just throw that all away. I can't understand why we just take our thoughts and say, "Hey, I don't need these, they just keep me from doing the really stupid things in life." I want to scream at people sometimes. I'm not kidding. We have become very stupid creatures as the sin nature runs rampant in our society. We do things in a way that constantly gets us hurt, yet we still do it. I don't think I'll ever understand.
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